Being in between projects is like getting your hair done. Researching inspiration for something fresh and new, then the excitement of what the outcome will finally be. Unfortunately, there is a long waiting period between steps, where you sit and wait and wait and wait and…. wait some more. That is how I feel, except, in hair terms, that waiting period is a few hours while chemicals suck the life out of your scalp; but with a personal art project, the suspended gratification is weeks, sometimes months, to figure it out. I am not a patient person, so I still do not understand why I like doing this to myself. In this interim, I am working on a commission for a friend, which will most likely dominate the entire upcoming holiday weekend. This cannot be posted yet, because the images are in their weird, awkward middle school stage. So as I sit and wait, I have tried seeking inspiration around me for a new subject...pondering for minutes that turned to a full 2 episodes of Chef’s Table, I couldn’t think of one thing that inspired me enough to post, until I got a tickle up my nose and pulled out a fine, white hair. I looked down at my cat sprawled across my lap, with no concern whether or not I was comfortable. There it was. I have been defending them for so long against the masses who have met one cat in their entire life, that happened to be an asshole and therefore, have declared a hatred of their species for life. It is that, or, the archetypal “I’m allergic”.... Whatever people, I am here from the church of Caturday-Saints and I am hoping to save any who haven’t been given the blessing of a cat in their life.
🐱 First of all, I’m sick of dogs-
I get it, I really do. Dogs are man’s best friend. They offer something 180 degrees different than cats. They are happy to see you 100% of the time, they follow you like a shadow, they protect you as their pack alpha. Then I think of all of the dogs I know, or see in pictures on social media: gleefully hopping in front of their owner on a leash. They are work. Walking their energy out, making them feel included, training them to tell you when they have to go, before they expel their worst throughout the house. Personally, I could never own one of these kinetic creatures. They require too much patience, have too many accident prone habits and show their affection just a little too easily. On top of that, I strongly believe that many of the dog owners out there, do not have the proper amount of time these animals need. There have been too many people I’ve heard of that kennel their dogs in the garage while they are gone at work for 40 plus hours a week…hopefully there is a special sort of chain-linked afterlife for those kind of folks.
🐱 Nature’s pocket-sized lethal weapon-
There is the super-massive-agile-natural-born-killer that stalks prey in the wildest parts of the world, then there is a shrunken-down, bite-sized version that roams my house. That. Is. Cool. My cat has left me bloody, slashed-apart rodent gifts that his natural tiger instincts set him out to kill, which I definitely appreciate. It does feel strange to praise this animal that has deliberately set a gruesomely dead mouse outside of the bedroom door, but he was showing me his cat love. The neighbor’s outdoor cat has done the same for me, except his gift was the sinister skull of a rabbit, with only the eyeballs intact and, oddly enough, the liver, cleanly plucked from the body and placed ritualistically next to the ogling skull. This happened twice, in the exact same place, with the exact same remnants, which tells me, cats are fucking smart.
This neighbor cat, Tux, who has befriended me, is a lot like Don Corleone. He rules the street. If another stray cat shows up, they aren’t there for long. Our street is also mostly rodent/pest free thanks to Tux. He has visiously fought off raccoons and kept them from returning.. So now I am free to pile up my trash can beyond the lid fitting all week without worrying about invaders...I call it garbage-Jenga.
🐱 Ummmm, have you seen them with a laser?-
If you’ve never had the shear delight of watching a cat stalk and pounce a mercilessly fictitious object, then I sarcastically hope you have enjoyed the waste of time your life has been.
🐱The purr is a triumph-
When I hear that velvety-smooth sound, I feel an unnecessary rush of accomplishment. It’s an earned reaction, and damn, there’s nothing better. According to several studies, a cat’s purr can actually have healing properties. The rhythm and frequency of a cat’s purr has been proven to lower stress in humans. There are also links to purring lowering blood pressure, improved breathing and better heart health. Yeah, think of that when your squatting behind your dog with a plastic bag.
🐱 If the internet loves them so much, why doesn’t it marry them?-
The power of cat videos are real. I may have seen every single one in existence, which, yes, I am proud of. The fourteenth time watching a cat sit on top of a moving roomba is a spiritual experience.
🐱 Cat puns-
Yeah, thats right, cat puns. The one animal you can slip into more words than you can count on one hand. “Right Meow”- “You’re pawsome”- “Purr-fect”- “You’re kitten me”- all real life examples of phrases I frequently use.
🐱 I walk my cat on a leash-
Actually, I just put the leash on and carry him around, but the point is, if he has to be an indoor cat, I want him to experience outside somehow. I understand that people may think I am a danger to myself and others when I let him stick his head out of the window on car rides, but if dogs get to do it, I’m gonna let the cat have a try.
That's it. There's no profound message I'm seeking to prove out here. Just a little narrative on why cats are awesome. I have the same plea for the movement of raw fish, Pixar movies and really expensive socks, but for now, I've done my job. Cats: the best thing you think you hate.